LEJOG: The Songs

I’m sure that it’s quite normal when out walking, pack on your back, to have a song going in your head.

Whilst having a such a song is pleasantly diverting when you’re walking along (particularly the dull flat sections), the nightmare scenario is getting a song trapped in your head that just won’t go away. It’s there first thing in the morning, it’s there as you’re doing the camp chores, it’s there when you’re packing away, it’s there when you’re walking; worse, it may even be there when you’re asleep, ready to jump at you if you wake up for a micro-second in the night.

And to make matters even worse, some of the songs we had cerebrally stuck were dreadful (although perhaps not as bad as my all-time worst experience of walking for three days in the Lakes with the Sheila’s Wheels ad in my head)!

Mick was mainly to blame for the song choice. Once he was fed up with a tune, he’d sing it to me until finally I became infected with it ( I did get him back with the Kellerman’s End of Season song, which was one of the most annoying of the trip).

Just for a giggle, here’s a selection of the songs that we sang. Make of it what you will, but don’t ponder too much on what it may say about us!

Two Little Boys (sung in full at least once per day; we also had a bit of a Rolf day involving Jake the Peg, Tie Me Kangaroo and Court of King Caractacus)

Monday I Touched Her on the Ankle

Diddly diddly diddly diddly dah di dah di dah

Monty Python Theme

My Packs Too Heavy, My Boots Too Tight, My tits are swinging…

Lloyd George Knew My Father (entirely the fault of a chap we met just north of Hadrian's Wall; as we walked away he suggested that it was a good walking tune and we were immediately plagued by it for days)

Robbie/Elvis Confusion (Monday morning when I wake up I look like kiss but without the make up … in the ghetto, in the ghetto (that one was entirely me and I don't know how it came about))

Little White Bull

My Grandfather’s Clock (right up there in the top three annoying songs)

German Marching Band Tune

Make It Through The Night (often in Elvis Style-ee)

Any Dream (if only we knew more than two lines…)

Truly Scrumptious (likewise)

How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria (likewise; must brush up on songs from the musicals before the next big walk)

All I Want Is A Room Somewhere

I Don’t Want to Join the Army

Leaving Kytak and Aint Coming Back

Oh Sir Jasper!

Show Me The Way To Go Home (Indicate the Way to my Abode!)

Kellerman’s End of Season Song from Dirty Dancing (the one they all sing on stage at the end of the film, not ‘I’ve Had The Time of My Life’, which would have been far less annoying)

Vindaloo


And my all time favourite song-related moment, which really did make me laugh, was when we ended a day and Mick moaned that he’d had a particular song plaguing him all day. When Santa Got Stuck Up The Chimney was the entirely seasonally-inappropriate culprit. Try as he might, he didn’t manage to pass that one on to me.